Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
