I feel like I'm in dance class right now
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?