how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me