Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups