life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea