I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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