Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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