some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who died my cat blue again?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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