we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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