Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
