before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
