Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
