making cat noises will not fix the situation.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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