Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
