you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
