I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
