im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
