oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
