How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
