That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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