the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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