so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
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He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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