You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
