I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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