the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
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Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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