real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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