literally had 100 drinks last night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
