we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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