Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
