So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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