that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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