he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
