About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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