The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
