the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my liver is dry heaving
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
