oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize