I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
