Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
