he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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