Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
