im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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