just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
