Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize