they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
