there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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