I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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