Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
