are you still at the devil's house?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
