party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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