I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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