when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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