Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
