Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Please don't give away my fajitas
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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