I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
