the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
