I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
