im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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