I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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