hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
