remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
