i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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