...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
