That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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