he shaved USA in his pubs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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